y do i feel so not appreciated?
y m i not motivated?
m i taken for granted?
where is dignity and pride?

others make mistakes, they can afford to close 1 eye
and pretend nothing happens
the slightest mistake i made, seems serious enough to kill
i m trying my very best to get things done
but no support given by anyone
m i not trying hard enough?

i feel tired
i dragged myself everyday
my psychological committment is fading off
feelings for the people is draining off fast
my motivation has gone missing

they assume that things needed to be done by me
what are the rest doing?

my heart pains to see her
no sympathy shown
dignity shredd into pieces
the basic pride n respect for a human being can no longer be felt
wonder if this would happen to me too

these days the smallest matter can made me flare my temper
i become an angry person here
i dun like to behave this matter
this is not me at all
i m losing myself
can't take it anymore

i need to move on
before i break down

i'm a black monkey

You are Black Monkey, who has a pretty and a cheerful smile.

People depend on you for your kindness and the way you take care of them.

You don't possess feminine emotional attraction,
but you can make decisions calmly and efficiently. <- tis is true

You can go on living with patience.

You don't have strong identity, you are straightforward person,
and lead consistent life. <- tis is true

You will lead a happy and lively life if you put yourself as number two
and work under someone.

You are not very good at reading other people's mind,
but you can have a relationship without making others incurring displeasure.

You tend to be rather nervous,
and if you don't try to relax, you will get mentally tired. <- tis is very true

Although you are weak on instinct, you can carry out things rationally. <- somehow true

And in real life, you don't get interested in hobbies and culture,
but you seek for materialistic things. <- tis is very true

Your objective in life is to lead a life for both personal interest and practical benefit. <- YES YES

You don't like to loose, and because you put in great effort,
you will not give up halfway and can be full of sprit. <- accurate!

But you can lack foresight and are not good at deep speculation.

You may be taken advantage of yourself.

Your cheerful and generous character is popular among men. <- i hope this is true

the rest.. i cant judge

i was a huge sotong last night
i took the wrong bus home
*mind you, this is the 2nd time*
tis mistake is more serious than the 1st time
i caught myself at a bus stop btwn Mac Res and Marymount
walk back to Mac Res seems like not too wise
n i dun know where the heck Marymount is
being smart i turn and walked into another road

sigh.. wrong choice!
i got stranded somewhere in Sin Min industrial estate
the whole place is so quiet and dark
spoooky n scary
been walking round n round for abt 30mins
guess wat i saw
i saw 光明山 temple!!
lucky there's a cab coming by
and i took tat cab home

told my mum abt it
n she laughed
no sense of sympathy at all
mum reminded me to drink my milk b4 i sleep
then something got into me again
i cant remeber what happen next
next time i know
i'm pouring hot water into my cup
looking at the weird color of the 'milk'
it seems darker than usual
wonder if i used too much milk powder
took a sniff
i realised i made coffee instead
*faint*

have no idea wat happen to me
did i get possessed?

hmm...

this is my mood for today
mayb not just for today
more like i'm angry everyday

the moment i stepped in
i'm pissed

sometimes i feel like i'm taken for granted
i just wanna feel i'm appreciated for what i've done
it is so difficult?

i'm tired too
i wanna slow my pace down alittle
but i can't
on top of many other things
i have studies to cope
how to slow down

=_="

doing my hair this afternoon
super duper packed
as if Red is giving free hair treatment
waited for almost 20 mins
*sigh*

after 4hrs, finally my hair is done
at times i just wonder where i get my paitence from
*kekeke*

went chinatown, trying to feel the CNY atmosphere there
simply sux!
tot at night wont be much crowd
but i was wrong, utterly wrong
the crowd at night is horrible
i cant do anything
except being pushed around n squeezed
cant even stop to look at things
wasted a trip down
should have gone there in the afternoon

err.... any1 interested to go chinatown with me? =D

next week is CNY
hmm.. any1 looking towards for it?
i dun look forward to it at all
beside movies, visit tat ang bao river
nothing much to do
yr after yr is the same old thing
what i dread most is relatives visitng
always asking the same qns
"where r u working now?"
"any bf now?"
if ans yes "so when getting married?"
if ans no "so when getting one?"
no matter how much i dread seeing them
i still have to treat them nice
very fake... i dun like putting up mask

been so long coming to the 6th yr
but the pain is still there when CNY approaches
still misses him till now
hope he will continue to watch over us from up above

most probably this is the main reason y i dun like CNY

today....
13 Jan 2006...
the company i'm working for...
is officially ISO 9001:2000 certified...

all hard work pays off...

http://www.freaknfunny.com/files/upload/draw-a-pig.swf

try it out... seems kool...
being a piggy lover, how can i give it a miss =p

i draw my pig:
Toward the middle of the frame, you are a realist. <- true
Facing left, you believe in tradition, are friendly, and remember dates (birthdays, etc.) <- true
With few details, you are emotional and naive, you care little for details and are a risk-taker <- not so true....
With less than 4 legs, you are insecure or are living through a period of major change. <- not really
The size of the ears indicates how good a listener you are. You are a poor listener. <- errr....
The length of the tail indicates the quality of your sex life. You have a good sex life. <- not true at all! hahaha!!

late happy new year to all who read my blog

class started already
back to hectic and stressful life
feeling tired.. sigh...

got all my datelines on my first class of L&M module
mostly r 2 weeeks apart
hope i wont be rushing last min work
*keep fingers cross*

later will be attended my first lesson of SO module
more assignments and datelines to be expected
*shake head*

tis semester is tight and rush
tough time ahead
taking only 2 modules
and yet more assignments than previous semester

all the best to me and myself